The Perfect Date
By The Girl
September 20, 2007
Ahhh, the perfect date.
Is there such a thing? Since the definition of the word perfect is subjective, thus making perfection an impossible universal idea, probably not. But that won't stop me from trying to figure one out!
I suppose that, before we even get started, it’s important to point out that the perfect date could probably not be planned. While perfection requires great practice, it also requires the right amount of spontaneity. If a perfect date must follow some pre-set schedule to a T, then the date will place entirely too much pressure on all participants.
Also, in order to accomplish the perfect date, you must also have the perfect date partner, which, as was discussed in several previous posts, is not exactly an easy task in this area. You could try going on 30 dates in a row and hope to find your perfect match, or you could settle for someone with no visible scars or Nazi party tattoos and hope for the best.
Assuming that you have met someone good enough to arrange the perfect date with, what would you do with them? I informally polled several acquaintances (i.e., bribed a few hobos with half-empty [or are they half-full?] bottles of Boone's), and this is what they had to say.
This one is from a homesick Type A personality (he literally numbered the order of events to prevent confusion):
1. Paddle or row boat on Glacier
2. Lunch/coffee up at Fellows Riverside Gardens
3. Chit Chat walking around the Downtown
4. Drinks at the Bean Counter
5. Something interesting at the Oakland
6. More drinks etc at whatever downtown bar fits her
Awwww! "whatever bar fits HER"!!! Mad props to this guy for being aware of his date's likes and dislikes enough to figure out the right bar.
This next one probably should be numbered to keeop everything in order, but it's not. Preferring to approach dates as little obstacle courses, this day-long love affair (and I mean this starts at flipping sunrise, ladies, so come dressed to work and pile on the anti-perspirant!) is used as more of a weeding out than a wooing:
Start by instructing the date to meet me at the Bean Counter with a pair of latex gloves. When we meet up, we pick up trash in the streets of downtown and talk about the history of downtown/future development. This is followed by lunch at the Golden Dawn and a walk around Wick Park. Head down to the Butler, YSU, and the Labor Museum for some coffee and tour. Dinner at Cedars on the outdoor patio followed by band/drinks at the Royal Oaks. Observe date's reaction and make determination on whether to proceed further upon aforementioned summary.
Any date that ends with an observation period sounds a bit unnerving...but then again, I suppose all dates include some form of observation...just not so obviously intense.
Some further outdoor-friendly date fodder from a true rennaisance guy:
If we strictly talking Ytown: Mill Creek. Perhaps the arms museum. Briar hill pizza and wedding soup at Avalon Gardens. Drinks on the patio at Cedars followed by a band. If we expand the region: a stroll in Beaver Creek State park; perhaps a paddle 'round in the canoe. Spread Eagle tavern in Hanoverton for dinner.
Mmmmm...briar hill pizza and wedding soup. Clearly this man knows how to eat. He also may possibly be Lord of Innuendo for the second date (Beaver? Spread Eagle? I think that qualifies as XXX-rated).
This one starts out terrifically but ends up mildly terrifying:
I would take my date walking up the Mill Creek meandering though the park, en route passing through the foliage and the boulders, and on the eastern side of Lake Newport there is a very private dock you can have a picnic at where no one bothers you so you can play the guitar all night long. Other than that, Denny's.
In my experience, Denny's is never even remotely romantic unless you are drunk at three am, splitting greasy cheese fries with your equally drunk best friends.
From a charming, endearingly sweet guy:
I am a hopeless romantic, so in the absense of real stars, I would go to the Ward Beecher Planetarium (free!) and look at the stars there. Concurrently, you get to learn something about the stars that you can then point out on a later date (when looking at real stars) and feel real smart. ;) If, however, there were real stars, I would get a thermos of hot cocao and a blanket and some pillows and drive to a dark place and look at the stars. I'm not sure where that would be in the city limits, though....so stick with my first scenario. The wineries in Ashtabula are lots of fun to take a date to. I like a nice bottle of Lambrusco and some cheeses and fruits. Watching the sun set on the coast of Lake Erie, and then making out...
I'm so there!
This next one is from a chica. Let me just say that, based on my experiences, guys are waaay better at planning imaginary dates. Girls usually gave one main activity followed by some kind of food, unlike the guys, who broke it down into a blow-by-blow (I'm surprised they didn't include a schedule for physical affection as well).
Ice skating at open skate night at the Ice Zone (last I heard this was Thursday). The coldness and the activity is a great opening into holding hands (and we all know the first hand-holding is kind of awkward, should we, shouldn't we, etc.) After that head over to Cafe Azur/Shelton Matthews and try their AMAZING hot chocolate which is sinfully made with heavy whipping cream and actual chocolate and real whipped cream.
To be fair, this date does reek of girliness...the hand-holding element, the decadent chocolate. No wonder girls aren't allowed to plan dates! ;) Also, can anyone tell me what the eff happened to Shelton Matthews/Cafe Azur on Market St? Did they close for good, or are they just hibernating in Florida for a month?
The next femme response was a bit stilted as it comes from a married lass (though shouldn't married people be even better at dating than anyone else? If you're married, you must have done something right during the dating process, no?).
I like the walk through the park idea especially in Fall. Feeding the ducks is a great one too! In the winter you could go sled riding.
To be fair, this is a mother of two. Which raises another interesting question: when you have kids, either with your partner still around or as a single parent, what role do they play in the dating game? Any suggestions for "kid-friendly" dates?
My other lady responses were both lame, and both ended with a sigh:
Feeding the ducks in crandall park. sigh....
which was only slightly better than this one:
Date? I hardly even remember the word... sigh.
sigh. Sigh? SIGH!!! Ladies! Get it together! Clearly there are men out there excited about planning dates. Maybe I should match my dating game participants up (unfortunately, that requires one lady fly to the Carolinas for her date...)
As for me...my perfect date? That's hard to say.
Given the current state of the weather, I'd start my perfect date with Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Lattes on a cozy blanket under a tree in the park, reading (and then reading interesting parts aloud to each other) while the sun is still out. Afterwards, a stroll around the park (holding hands and laughing like they do under credits at the end of rom-coms) while we plan our next stretch of the date, which would probably involve some kind of rustic eating/classy drinking. Maybe stalk the aisles of a bookstore, each person picking out something they think the other would like to read. If there's time, check out the Butler's new Wyeth installation or roll up to any local theater for their season-opening show -- anything but a movie, unless you're looking for an excuse to make out like a high-schooler. If money is not an issue: charter a private jet to NYC and spend the day trying on ridiculous clothes, laughing at each other, taking in an off-broadway show, and exploring MoMa.
And the best ending is always a kiss, that perfect kiss, where both of you leave wanting more.
So how about you? What's your perfect date? Are there flowers? Introductions to family members? Is it better to bring a few friends along? Leave your ideas in the comments below.
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You know, I just remembered one great date that started out with coffee and a long drive through northern Trumbull County... we walked through meadows on a hill so high you could see for miles (it was probably illegal) and I picked wildflowers and we talked; then we sampled the rootbeer and homemade beef jerkey at a tiny little general store in Orangeville (pop. 327 or thereabouts), took pictures with the biggest hog I have ever seen in my life, and wrapped up the day with a trip to the Brookfield Flea Market and some yummy mexican food. Yeah, it was weird. But definitely memorable.
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"Start by instructing the date to meet me at the Bean Counter with a pair of latex gloves. When we meet up, we pick up trash in the streets of downtown and talk about the history of downtown/future development. This is followed by lunch at the Golden Dawn and a walk around Wick Park. Head down to the Butler, YSU, and the Labor Museum for some coffee and tour. Dinner at Cedars on the outdoor patio followed by band/drinks at the Royal Oaks. Observe date's reaction and make determination on whether to proceed further upon aforementioned summary."
That sounds like Youngstownkidd :-)
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The great thing about Youngstown is that there are so many things to do to create that perfect date, whether you are a Type A personality (is that a good thing?), an activist, or a married couple getting away from the kids for the night, as long as you are willing to look for them. I can't wait to hear what others have to say about their perfect date scenarios in Youngstown and the Region as a whole and give them a try perhaps.
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Sometimes the whole day-long date thing does not work out. Some of the suggestions have enough stuff for FIVE dates. What if you just want to feel things out?
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alicia -- more like feel things up! i was just thinking about the concept of an all-day date...when you first go out with someone new, you seem to walk a fine line between never getting enough of them and quickly getting sick of them, so i see where this poses a challenge.
swanni -- type A personalities rule. i try to deny it, but i am one (just a bit messier than usual). and you're right: willingness to look is key for many aspects of dating.
jess -- no comment ;)
and, last but not least, hmac -- THIS is the kinda date fodder i was looking for! ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES: perfectly youngstown!
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make sure you have things completely planned out. i suggest an outline. laminate it, and keep it in front of you at all times. if your date asks you what you keep looking at, bellow "I FOLLOW DATING ADVICE"
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ah, is this dating advice? or is it dating discussion? this blog is designed to spark discussion, not dispense advice. you above all people should know i'm in no place to be a dating guru, nor do i want to be. in fact, among the valley bloggers, you're one of the few who manage to sustain a successful relationship -- perhaps you should write a dating blog.
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problem #1: "the lamination sometimes makes my outline hard to read in situations with excessive levels of light. what if i miss out the precise 20-minute window in which i'm supposed to be coy?"
that's an excellent question, albeit a stupid one. obviously, laminating your dating outline is the practical thing to do, as you're going to be using it hundreds, if not millions of times. i suggest you take your date to an area experiencing constant brownouts. that way it won't be lights out -- so to speak -- for boners.
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I once went on a date with a guy who ate pickles the entire night. He ordered a giant plate of pickles at dinner along with his steak and THEN bought a giant pickle to chaw on during the movie, which happened to be HANNIBAL. I can't remember his name...but I like to refer to him as Dill.
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A date? Those are so hard to come by these days since most Youngstown women are usually into guys with ears like Dumbo or a nose like "The Count" or like the tough guy wannabes who shave their heads. No wonder this area sucks so bad,lol.
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