THE END (of winter)
March 21, 2008
I should probably do some kind of cursory update before I disappear from the country for 10 days. (to Italy, which will bring much inspired writing and reviews when I return!)
Let me tell you, I HATE March.
Though the month includes my birthday and spring break, it could very well be the grossest month of the year...visually speaking anyway. Winter waits until now to spew it's last disgusting weather phenomena of the season. There's every shade of gray and brown to be found. Mud, slush, clouds, rain, snow, old leaves, filthy roads. And remnants of snow so old their composition is questionably not even snow anymore. What’s in that crusty whitesh pile of stuff that’s been building up for months in the corner of the yard?
This is the story about: Snow boulders.
Snow boulders (or turds, lumps, pies, depending on size and shape) are the foul dark remnants of "snow" from god knows when it fell out of the sky. It's what happens when the white stuff gets stepped on, driven on, shoveled, scraped, plowed around, and compacted to forgotten corners of parking lots and unused portions of sidewalk. For months the snow supposedly melts, and falls again, melts, falls, etc. until FINALLY you think it's warm enough for it all to be gone, but...no. There it is, lurking just out of your line of sight. It may not catch your attention at first because it’s blending in, trying to be forgotten so it can thrive there the rest of the year, this hard mass of filth. This compacted hard ball of winter mess that represents everything soul-draining from the past 4 months. What started as an innocent pile of snow may now contain remnants of last weeks garbage, a tire, radioactive waste, squirrel remains...I don't dare go near them so that's just an educated guess.
But we can’t let these things sit all year! And they’re far beyond natural melting capability. They’ve grown intelligence, a sense of self, and they don’t want to GO anywhere.
They must be destroyed.
One of the reasons I like to travel in March is so I don’t have to be here to bid Ohio winter it’s final goodbye. I can turn my nose up and walk away without saying anything in a passive-agressive show of my contempt for the season. And upon my return *supposedly* all evidence will have gone. But not the snow boulders. Oh they’re always still there wating for me, to my disgust and unease.
I’m counting on you guys to help quell my fears of these last depressing remnants of winter by kicking them out of existence. Literally. Or might I suggest a sledge hammer. Anything to break up these snow turds’ sense of self under those hardened outer crusts so resilient to the sun’s warmth. Smash open and expose the tender insides so we can be rid of them once and for all!!
Entry tools
About this entry
- No one has blogged about this entry yet.
- This entry has been recommended 0 times.
I must say that I agree with you fully. This has got to be the most funky month of all months. It seems it doesn't know what mood it wants to be in or even if it knows what season it's in. I have to say, it is an eye sore to see all of those snow blobs that seem to linger long after the snow has stopped falling. I think only Youngstown has those and I thinks is symbolic of the corrupt, dirty people and situations of this town. All though people have stopped paying attention, the dirty & corruption linger on. It seems it won't go away. But yes, eventually the happy fairies of spring and summer will fly in and take away the dirty corrupt blobs and plant pretty, vivid summer blobs of trash, attitudes and murder upon good ol' Youngstown. Happy Spring everyone!
Comment not rated
This apparently has a comment, but I do not see one!
Comment not rated
for some reason the site seems to be acting weird when I view it in firefox what are you using?
Comment not rated
That was my comment and I don't why it is displayed like that and yes, I use firefox too because I like on my MAC better than that God forsaken Safari. Do you think it could be something with coding or the way the page is designed?
Comment not rated
Post a comment